month in review: 10/14

When’s the last time I did a Month in Review post? Why, it was January 2013!

I’ve been reading Brene Brown’s Daring Greatly and in it she cites research that indicates that those who are acutely aware of what they’re grateful for are more contented. That makes a lot of sense to me, but often I’d rather not “waste” time contemplating the good things; I’d rather distract myself with activities or blogs or online shopping. But I’ve been feeling awfully restless and discontent for no real reason, so I think it’s time to give this another try.

fg2

In October, I (often with Daniel in tow):

  • coordinated the thrift shop’s anniversary sale
  • attended a beautiful wedding
  • partied it up at a friend’s birthday party
  • visited with college friends who came to visit
  • picked apples at Carter Mountain Orchard
  • ate delicious, home cooked apple pie thanks to the friends who came to visit
  • sight saw on Skyline Drive on a foggy day
  • sang a solo part in the church choir
  • moved my fair trade blog over to Blogger (and got 1,070 views in the first month!)
  • wrote about lessons learned working at a thrift shop
  • went on my church’s 2nd annual hike
  • helped secure funding for the thrift shop’s maintenance fund
  • watched Fright Night with friends on Halloween
  • started reading Silence by Shusaku Endo
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blue glass and twigs

Sorry for the silence this week. I’ve been stuck inside and haven’t felt particularly inspired to write anything. We had two inches of snow on Friday, but my camera battery died. I ventured out in the evening with my film camera instead. I’m sure I’ll be pleasantly surprised by whatever I captured 6 or 7 months ago on the beginning of the roll when I go get it developed later this week.

I got in a minor car accident last weekend and have been anxiously awaiting the verdict so that I can move past the whole, stupid event.

As I’ve repeated here, I’ve been feeling melancholy for several weeks, likely due to the cold, sometimes dreary, weather. At the women’s small group I attend, one asked why we insist on running our lives at the same, steady rate in the winter months when other mammals take a break. That question and subsequent conversation helped me calm the inner voice that told me I wasn’t trying hard enough. The fact is that I’m cold and I feel under the weather almost every day. I need to give my body a break. As a result of that breakthrough, I’ve experienced a better, more efficient week overall.

I also bought a tea kettle. I’m addicted to its steam whistle and have been having a nice cup of earl grey every afternoon.

We attended our church group’s monthly potluck last night. As always, I found myself inspired and greatly amused by the various conversations in which I partook. Each time I get to know someone a little bit better. I’m glad to have had the opportunity to socialize in a low stress setting. I needed it.

Today I plan on listing several items on ebay and etsy, so keep a lookout.

I hope you have a nice Sunday and a satisfying week.

twenty four

I turned 24 years old yesterday.

It sucked.

Objectively, there was absolutely nothing wrong with my day: I slept in, opened up a few presents from Daniel (he got me a series of early Bakelite pieces), went to work, got complimented on my outfit, received a delicious smelling candle from my boss, ate some honey bunches, and had the best Chinese food in town from the comfort of my living room. It was actually a pretty perfect day.

But I felt miserable. The article I posted upon my arrival here indicated that there comes a point after every move when the mover’s positive expectations come crashing down. I feel that I’ve made great professional and personal progress since moving here. But I need help in the social department. I’ve met lots of potential friends, had great conversations, participated in activities, and gathered phone numbers, but I haven’t quite gotten to the state where I and my social partner mutually acknowledge our friendship. I really do think that a handful of local people would have been happy to celebrate my birthday, but I was too shy, and too set on wallowing, to ask.

My birthdays have been, at least for the past 5 years, a reunion. Different groups of dear friends may never have mingled throughout the year, but they were always at my birthday. We’d get a big table at a restaurant and have a lovely, raucous time catching up. It was more a celebration of the great people in my life than a celebration of my birth. The realization that I wouldn’t get that reunion this year hit me yesterday, along with all the sadness and insecurity of losing the daily, physical support of many friends.

I realized, too, that the birthday group I memorialize was gone before I moved, separated by distance, spouses, falling-outs, jobs, and heaps of schoolwork. Life is likely full of more chasms, more continental drifts, and I have to let it go and learn to live on my newly formed patch of grass, letting go of what it was, disregarding what it looks like elsewhere.

Thank you to all who sent me birthday greetings via mail, text, facebook, and phone. I know you’re out there and I appreciate your kindness. You’re still there, I know, but it’s hard to feel that sometimes.Twenty four will be a good, productive, transformative year, I’m sure.