That is all.
i’m a ballerina now
Author: Leah
Leah Wise is the founder of Eco Austin. She has been writing, speaking, and consulting on sustainable fashion, the fair trade and secondhand supply chain, and digital marketing for over ten years. An Episcopal priest, Leah holds a B.A. in Religion from Florida State University and an M.Div. from Yale Divinity School. When not working, you can find her looking for treasures at the thrift store.
personal style
I have always had a lot of confidence in my taste and ability to mix and match patterns and colors to make visually interesting outfits and rooms. I think I have a good eye and know what suits my body type. But occasionally, I get stuck. In college, I had a fun time experimenting with style, color, and form. After graduating, however, my job as a framer required a lackluster uniform of khaki pants, brown closed-toe shoes, and modest tops (and an ill-fitting, blue vest emblazoned with the corporate logo). That paired with a professional need to look my age (I was often mistaken for a high schooler) took a toll on my daily style. I had a style blog the whole time, too, but I didn’t always feel that put together.
I recently asked a ModCloth ModStylist to take a look at my current comforts and help bring me out of my box of striped tops and plain, knit skirts. I had low expectations, so I was pleasantly surprised by the result. It helps to get an outside perspective on personal style in the same way it helps to talk out any other issue with a friend. I came out of the brief interchange with a more defined sense of my taste and renewed enjoyment of getting dressed in the mornings.
The polyvore set ModStylist Amy put together is below (click on the embedded set to view product information; you will be redirected to polyvore). I let her know that I am most drawn to floral and polka dot prints, have a pear-shaped figure, and admire Kate Bosworth’s style, as well as silhouettes from the 70s and 90s.
I don’t see myself wearing boyfriend jeans or platforms anytime soon, but I appreciate that my comfort zone has been stretched. I particularly love the polka dot-floral combo in the center and the dress on the right. Amy did a great job of choosing basics with visual interest, which is right up my alley.
After viewing her recommendations, I put together my own set of prints and styles I like:
Even if you don’t feel stuck, or don’t have a specific occasion to prepare for, you may want to take advantage of ModCloth’s free ModStylist program. It was a fun, quick, positive experience.
inspired: Stanislav Sidorov
Etsy suggested the work of Stanislav Sidorov to me; they know me well. His pared down outlines, bold colors, and hazy landscapes combine my two favorite genres: Japanese watercolor and Van Gogh-esque post-Impressionism. Sidorov’s work is dreamy and joyful. His subjects emphasize the vivacity of daily experience, uncovering a hint of the divine in the terrestrial.
In his words:
I like small towns’ secluded streets and old architecture. They inspire nostalgia about previous generations, events and cultures and capture the beauty, wonder and emotion of the human experience .
Whether it is a portrait, a genre, a landscape or a still-life, – I Like touching one’s soul, challenging one’s mind, and not allowing the beholder to remain indifferent.
sources: one, two, three, four
VA FolkLife
We just got back from a brief but enjoyable visit to the Virginia Folk Life Apprenticeship Showcase. The program exists to link enthusiastic learners to master craftspeople within Virginia. The showcase featured oyster shuckers; banjo players; stone masons; guitar, autoharp, gun, mask, pie, cheese, stew, and cider makers; and Chikahominy dancers. We didn’t stay for the entire showcase, as things progressed a bit slowly, but we did get to see a few musicians and sample stew, cider, oysters, cheese, and apple pie.
After stopping by all the tables, we took a stroll to a nearby wildflower field overlooking a lake.
week in a list
- The online business experienced a high point this week, for which I am quite thankful. If you need to update your wardrobe, you should take a look.
- My manager asked me to take some photos of the shop for the company website. Although I didn’t get paid anything extra (apart from photographing on the clock), I’m excited that I had the opportunity to dabble in commercial photography (I have previously only done portraiture or product photos for my own business).
- The weather makes everything better. Today, everyone downtown whipped out their boots for their first wear of the season. A friend once told me that fragrance travels farther (or at least we can smell it better) when the humidity drops. I theorize that that’s why we’re hit by a wave of nostalgia in the fall and spring; scent is one of the strongest memory inducers. Alternately, we’re just all relieved to be able to walk outside in a single layer of clothing and feel perfectly comfortable.
- Daniel and I explored midtown today. It’s where all the cool people are. Charlottesville pleasantly surprised me again when we discovered they have a local food market and an organic, locally farmed butcher shop!
- A middle aged, male customer told me I have nice skin today. I could feel creeped out, but let’s be honest: when people say they are creeped out by compliments, they are just covering up their elation at having received one.
- We hung out with some of Daniel’s colleagues at Mellow Mushroom last night. It was less awkward for me than I anticipated (when you’re a non-student among students, it can be difficult to add to the conversation).
time and season
I wrote this in May, but I feel that sense of nostalgia – of hope and loss – now, too.
Your limbs half bare
in May
in Florida
Resisting summer
or too lazy, or
dying?
Your limbs grew wild
outstretched and crooked
in those early
days before you
really
knew
you were alive
Do you regret
the growing over
time and season?
Do you regret bearing
children on your arms
and standing still
when storms, surely
hundreds now,
washed over you?
Perhaps it’s too
much, and too
hard
to grow back,
bring back,
all that you lost
again,
and over ag-
ain.
lately.
Things have settled into a rhythm of relative normalcy lately. Work, church, pick Daniel up from school, thrift, eat, clean. It’s not bad, but I don’t want to get stuck. We still have a lot to see and do in Charlottesville and we need to prioritize exploring over sleeping in, I think.
We’ve become regular church-goers again after a year long hiatus. I had little hope of finding a church full of friendly people with which I could be open and honest about my beliefs, doubts, and criticisms. In Tallahassee, we seemed to find one or the other, but not both. Or it’d be a Goldilocks situation: we were too liberal for many churches (theologically and politically) and too conservative for others. Here, so far, we feel just right. The members in our age group are almost all Religious Studies nerds, too, so we have a lot to talk about. Charlottesville is a well-educated city, which makes for a positive daily environment and promotes many thoughtful conversations. Thomas Jefferson would be proud.
September here apparently signals an almost immediate turn to fall. Although a few more days in the low 80s have been forecast for the month, summer is clearly departing. I’m excited, as the season change is supposed to be incredibly beautiful. And my new boots should be arriving any day now.
I’ve been working hard to make my online store a success, and I’m seeing positive results so far. I really like where I am in terms of work. The coffee shop atmosphere is a positive one and working for myself on the side is empowering.
I also signed up for adult ballet classes at the local Rec center! One of my short term goals was to start taking ballet. I’m surprised that it actually happened. I tend to make plans and then excuse myself from them.
Life is good here. I have days of loneliness and doubt, moments of sadness, but I can see and appreciate all the blessings. Moving has been good to us.
Etsy Preview 9/9
New items will be posted for sale at Water Lily Thrift by tomorrow afternoon. Scarves, vests, and European heels!
I also have a few auctions running on eBay. Two pairs of brand new shoes are for sale and a handful of designer purses will be posted shortly.
one month in C-Ville
Yesterday marked the one month-iversary of our new life in Charlottesville. It’s incredible how quickly time has flown already. In most ways, Charlottesville already feels like home. But there are still loose ends to tie: settling into a church, unpacking and organizing the final traces of our move, finding a consistent group of friends to hang out with, and switching over my license and registration.
Jennifer (my old neighbor) and I reunited
In one month, I (and sometimes Daniel):
- traveled over 12, stressful hours on rural streets and highways
- visited every grocery store chain in town (and still can’t find one as delightful as Publix)
- perused at least 7 antique shops
- bought an armchair and a vintage mirror
- bought a dozen or so books from local stores
- ate at Bodo’s Bagels 4 times
- interviewed for four jobs
- changed my mind about my immediate career goals
- got a job I love (for once)
- visited UVA
- felt consistently nauseous (it’s finally subsiding)
- stretched fabric across a canvas and made two photo canvases and three pillow cases
- bought pet rats (Surprise! I haven’t told very many people yet)
- watched the meteor shower on a farm while listening to acoustic improvisation
- assembled book cases
- celebrated a birthday (Daniel’s)
- saw a Bluegrass legend in concert
- ate lots of delicious food
- visited three churches
- freaked out, a lot
- revamped my vintage store
- made some friends
- toured the neighborhood
- saw Obama in person
- visited with a friend I haven’t seen since high school
I know – and fear – that as time inches along, I’ll stop caring about the little accomplishments, struggles, and tasks I experience each month; they’ll be compacted into a small blurb on the timeline of my life. But, looking over this list, I feel quite proud of how far we’ve come in one month. Moving, especially hundreds of miles away from your previous life, brings uncertainty – about identity, financial security, relationships. But I’ve reflected lately that moving away from an identity that is created for you over days and months and years creates a space for renewed liberty, a wider sphere of choice. I have a chance here to present myself and identify myself based upon who I am and what I believe and what interests me now without fear of rattling someone’s preconceived notions of who I am. I can take pride in what I have achieved. I can say to myself, “You are good enough,” for the first time in a year. The challenge will be to push toward that level of freedom and self-understanding as we scatter presuppositions and misunderstandings along our path in Charlottesville. What I’ve learned here in the last month is that we do have the power to change our lives. In fact, the daily task of life is simply making choices and living with them.
Obama in Charlottesville
a.k.a., the most thrilling day of my existence.
Regardless of how you feel about Obama or the party he represents, if you had been in downtown Charlottesville yesterday, your veins would have been coursing with the tangible, electric, energy of thousands of people, first awaiting Obama’s arrival and then crowding in around a perimeter secured by Secret Service agents outside the local campaign office to catch a glimpse of him, snap a picture, shake his hand.
a man serenades the line with jazz
I had to work at 1, so I took the bus downtown around 11 am to avoid the anxiety of limited parking due to road closures. Once there, I meandered the Downtown Mall, camera in hand, to take in the crowds. It was important to me to capture the overall feeling and sense of anticipation rather than just a couple shots of Obama. People started lining up before I got there even though the gates weren’t set to open until 1:00. By 12:30, the line extended back several blocks from the Pavilion, from one end of the mall to the other (some report that it actually extended past the pedestrian mall in the final minutes before the line began to inch forward). It took an entire hour to herd all attendees through the gate; my coworker and I watched them move forward in line from the shop’s large window.
Crowds extended to the end of the Downtown Mall
I didn’t get to attend the event due to work, but my boss, a local small business owner, had a VIP ticket which allowed her to stand at the front of the auditorium. She took some great pictures and got to shake Obama’s hand.
After the speech ended, the coffee shop was overwhelmed by customers eagerly awaiting smoothies and other cold drinks after several hours in the late summer heat. As the final customers trickled in at the end of the rush, we noticed that a crowd had started to gather outside of the shop. Someone shouted, “Obama’s coming!,” and my manager and I immediately ran outside. The area was secured by a dozen or more Secret Service agents. After 15 minutes of waiting, we heard cheering as a caravan of black cars drove down 4th street. Within seconds, the cheering escalated, and there he was! I was maybe 100 feet from the President of the United States: an international figure, a fixture of American politics, a talking point of every American household! I held my camera above my head to try to get some usable shots. It was exciting to see what I had managed to capture at the end of the day’s events.
People crowd in to catch a glimpse of the President
Obama visited the campaign office and brightened the day of many hard working volunteers and staff members. A girl at the restaurant next door shook his hand and her coworkers all high-fived it, as if the thrill of her experience would rub off on them.
As we began our closing tasks at the shop, two girls sat at separate tables, crying. One had been an active campaign volunteer who couldn’t get past the Secret Service to shake Obama’s hand. The other was at the front of the crowd as he arrived, and she, much to her surprise and joy, had shaken his hand. That image summed up the spirit and passion, the sheer emotion – impossible to interpret at times – of the day for me.
a church, a chapel, and pigeons
Yesterday evening was beautiful. I love the way the harsh, setting sun streaks across the images below and hyper-pigments the blue sky. We took a quick tour of UVA’s chapel before partaking in an evening service at the Episcopal church nearby. Thomas Jefferson was opposed to mixing religion with public higher education and never would have approved of a chapel on the Grounds. The structure was built in 1885, decades after his passing.
I took the photo of the pigeons earlier today after work. They perch there together quite frequently.
home tour: The Bathroom
I’m not too fussy about the overall appearance of the bathroom in terms of individuality or cohesion with nearby rooms, so most of the bathroom accessories were used in our previous bathroom. I added the finishing touches today and wanted to show it off. It has significantly less counter and storage space than our old bathroom, so things had to be shuffled around a bit, but past tenants have added several useful storage shelves to the wall, of which we take advantage.
The theme colors were originally white, black, and red, but somehow beige made it’s way in there over time. The art was purchased on etsy and the metal cat was a gift from my friend, Mary. The carved wooden canisters are vintage and were made in India. Rugs and accessories are a mix from discount stores.
I wish the lighting was better in these shots. If you look to the left on the bottom image, you’ll see one of the towels I dyed “gray” (they turned out gray-blue).
the neighborhood
I decided to take a walk around my new neighborhood to get a sense of the community. Since most of the homes in this area were built in the 1960s, most of our neighbors are elderly; at least, I assume they’ve lived in the same home for 50 years. It’s a pleasant change to live in a duplex instead of a student-oriented apartment building, but the rowdy children who always sound like they’re pole-vaulting or roller-blading above us are about as annoying as drunk college students yelling obscenities by the apartment pool in the middle of the night.
Fun fact: my next door neighbors have a defunct toilet in their driveway.
I have a 20-something brain
For the past couple of weeks, I have found myself barely able to keep food down.
I vomited, inexplicably, last Thursday. In the middle of each meal, I have to stop eating, faced with another wave of nausea. This morning, I’m pondering whether to drink my coffee and attempt to get on with my day or go back to sleep to ease the discomfort.
I know the source of my physical pain is anxiety. A big, overwhelming pile of it. About finding friends, navigating this town correctly, finances, performing well in my new job, hearing word about the other job I interviewed for, finding a lasting and meaningful career, feeling content, maintaining intellectual drive, making the most of things, staying in contact with the ones I love, learning an instrument, singing again – getting to a point where I feel like a success rather than a confused, dead-beat, disappointment.
I know that nothing is resolved by worrying. I know that my current circumstances are much more positive than they could be. I know that nothing is actually wrong. But as much as I tell myself that, as much as it has become my internal chant – my prayer – the physical signs of stress won’t leave me.
I read an article this morning about the developing, 20-something brain, which relieved my mind (to some extent), though not my stomach. The adult brain doesn’t fully develop until the mid to late 20s and there are much higher rates of anxiety, suicide, and general recklessness among early 20-somethings than in most other age groups, likely due to increased expectations to succeed as a well-formed individual in adult society while still trying to connect and disconnect synapses, take in information, and, in a cognitive sense, find oneself.
There is a scientific and social cause for anxiety at my age. But it doesn’t make it easier to bear. I face my own high expectations and negative self-talk on a daily basis. It’s time to practice being content with daily success, no matter how small. Of course, saying it and doing it are quite different things.
Leah Wise 