movie recommendations

We’ve watched a few enjoyable movies lately. The thing that struck me most about all of them is that they presented an ethical message – a practical purpose for the narrative.

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  • Take This Waltz: (Michelle Williams, Seth Rogen); Williams’ character writes for a tourism agency and her husband is a budding chef. The movie follows her through marital and personal doubt. The characters and their anxieties are easy to identify with and the message is an important one. I also really enjoyed the cinematography. If you prefer to avoid sexual content and nudity, you should be aware that there is plenty in the film. You should watch it anyway.
  • Bernie: (Jack Black); Bernie is the (sort of) true story of a beloved citizen of a small Texas town. I know my description is vague, but I went into it having no idea what it was about and I think that made everything much more exciting. I love Jack Black, and this role, although comedic, is more nuanced than many roles he’s played. It reminds me of a short story we read in my Narrative Ethics class; it does an excellent job of exposing how thoroughly narrative can alter our worldviews.
  • The Five Year Engagement: (Jason Segel, Emily Blunt); The film was written and produced by Segel. As the title suggests, the narrative rests on the premise of a five year long engagement, examining why engagements can last such a long time and how they affect a couple. It’s a comedy, but like most contemporary comedies, it has a fair dose of trauma and desperation. The film offers a similar message to Take This Waltz.

It’s refreshing when filmmakers understand their role in creating and informing our morality. All three films are contemplative and realistic. All acknowledge that people are imperfect, that lives are messy and complicated, that, though we may not deserve it, we all need forgiveness.

identity

I heard a homily lately that indicated that times of crisis or severe anxiety occur when our carefully curated identities – our senses of confidence – are broken down by life circumstances, by inescapable change. Sometimes the things that shape who we are can become all we consider ourselves to be. We’re more than that, and I think it helps to remember at the end of the day that we can let go of our advertised selves or supposed identities and still be alive and capable of enjoying the things that make our lives so rich.

Dr. Ralph Stanley: a bluegrass experience

Last night, Daniel and I went to see bluegrass legend, Dr. Ralph Stanley, and his Clinch Mountain Boys in an intimate venue in downtown Staunton, Virginia.

I didn’t know much about the history of bluegrass until I watched the documentary, High Lonesome: The Story of Bluegrass Music, with Daniel the other day. Bluegrass is an amalgamation of folk music traditions, drawing most heavily on Irish traditional music brought over by Scots-Irish immigrants who settled in the Appalachian mountains in the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries. Later on, these poor white southerners were influenced by the syncopated rhythms of African music and bluegrass began to develop into its own genre. Bill Monroe is considered the founder of bluegrass, but the Stanley Brothers took up the sound and feel of bluegrass shortly afterward.

Ralph Stanley has been composing and performing bluegrass music for 66 years. He’s now 85 years old. He has inspired decades of musicians and musical traditions.

We sat in a small dining room with no more than 100 people. Stanley was visibly under-the-weather, sitting on a chair surrounded by his band. After about two songs, he explained that he’d recently been hospitalized and wasn’t supposed to be performing. He didn’t want to let down his fans, he said, so he checked out early and came anyway. His body wasn’t strong enough to sing or play, so he transferred the lead to his grandson, Nathan Stanley.

Ralph Stanley made sure to sing one song all the way through: his Grammy award-winning rendition of “O, Death,” from the Oh Brother, Where Art Thou soundtrack. Hearing the words, “Oh death, won’t you spare me over til another year,” coming from an ill, 85 year old about did me in. He’s supposed to make a full recovery, but the pleading now seems real. I was only able to capture a small portion of the solo, but I think it’s worth a listen.

 

Bluegrass has a peculiar, holy quality. It is moaning and dancing. There is much talk about death and misfortune and industrialization. But there’s a grounded joy underneath it all. An understanding that suffering is not the end – that if we just sing loud enough and play with feeling and believe in God we can elevate ourselves to something better.

The music I listened to last night made me feel like I do on the high swings at the fair in November, my eyes closed, aware of my body, aware of myself, but also aware of more. Literally and figuratively elevated, apart from the trudging task of daily life, understanding in my gut that I am fundamentally a part of a living, torrential natural world.

favorites

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Today was all about relaxation (and bluegrass and pest control, but more on that later, maybe). I had the day off, which was awesome since I experienced unexplained nausea yesterday evening.

I did a little online window shopping via polyvore. These items would be great late summer/early fall updates to my wardrobe.

  1. Sheer plaid shirt: I saw one like it at Target the other day and really like the idea. I’m into layering button downs over dresses.
  2. Hi-lo hem knit shirt: I love knits.
  3. Classic striped sweatshirt: As much as I’d like to think I am risk taker when it comes to personal style, I love classic silhouettes, comfy knits, and stripes.
  4. Tapestry-inspired dress: it looks rich, but it’s still in a light weight fabric.
  5. Enamel animal necklace: simple, whimsical, easy to wear.
  6. Color block dress: I’m been into yellow lately. I like the shape of this dress. I think it’d suit my pear-shaped frame (I think “dew drop” is supposed to be the new, more flattering description).
  7. Big, cozy cardigan: I love cardigans, the more like a blanket, the better.
  8. High waist, stretch jeans: these are hard to find in an affordable price range. I really just want to live in jeggings and the higher waist suits my body type better.
  9. Polka dot skirt: I already have a polka dot skirt, but this navy one is classy.
  10. A-line skirt: I like the vintage, 1940s look.
  11. Oxford boots: Lace up boots are my favorite. I think I need some in dark brown.
  12. Floral sandals: these have nothing to do with colder weather, but I have some similar ones from Target and love the style.
  13. Gray flats: I like the streamlined look of these and the little bow.

home tour: The Bedroom

I finally finished the bedroom (but I’m sure I’ll manage to clutter it up with knick knacks in the coming months)! I made two chevron pillow cases and a butterfly one, stretched bird fabric onto stretcher bars to create a 16×20 art piece, and mod-podged my Lichgate tree photo onto canvas (which actually didn’t turn out that well if you look closely – you can’t always trust Pinterest tutorials; those women are sugar-coating things).

I love the brick wall in the bedroom. This portion of the apartment used to be the garage, so the brick is actually part of the original exterior of the house built in the 1960s.

Art: Lichgate tree/San Francisco oil painting/Stretched fabric, from old shower curtain/Bridge print, purchased by my dad in Paris.

We purchased the mirror above the dresser at Possessions Recycled here in town. If I haven’t already mentioned it, the mirror that came with my dresser is too tall for our short, basement apartment ceiling, so we had to find a replacement. This one is black with gold stenciling and was made in the 1950s.

My grandma gave us this silver platter; we have no idea what it was intended for, but it works well for my toiletries. She also gave me the wood storage tray, originally intended to display painted wooden cats on the wall.

I’m happy that I managed to be so productive today. Originally, I was scheduled to work, but my boss got her days mixed up, so I had the afternoon off. Daniel was never really clued in to my plans for the room, but he (without my prodding) complimented my choice of fabrics and he and I chose the mirror together, so we both have a room we like now.

all good things

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Meteor shower viewing party:

  • a farm in the mountainous countryside
  • a vast field
  • watching dusk turn into night
  • a black German Shepherd
  • a good, old-fashioned campfire
  • salads made from home-grown vegetables
  • guitars, a mandolin, and a banjo
  • a full view of summer constellations (it’s been too long since I’ve gazed upward)
  • ghost stories and history lessons
  • lightning bugs
  • friendly people

Last night contained all the best parts of living. I couldn’t help but feel at peace listening to the varied strum of five stringed instruments, the sound of humming, of quiet conversation, the panting of a dog. I couldn’t help but feel fine looking up at the vastness of a twinkling night sky.

to do (updated):

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I have a lot of decorating ideas and very little motivation at the moment. I thought that making a (public) list of my aspirations would help me get started.

Bedroom:

  • Make 2 16×20 photo transfers on canvas.
  • Stretch bird fabric on 16×20 canvas.
  • Make 3-4 pillow cases from butterfly and chevron fabrics.
  • Paint plastic toiletry trays yellow and gray-blue.
  • Hang artwork/mirror.

Living room: 

  • Locate inexpensive 3×5 area rug.

Library:

  • Finish assembling bookshelves.
  • Paint all furniture a uniform shade.
  • Find inexpensive ottoman.
  • Organize books by subject.

Craft room:

  • Unpack it.

Bathroom:

  • Remove dye from towels and re-dye charcoal gray. – oops! they turned out gray-blue
  • Assemble trinkets on window sill.

knots

My stomach has been tangled in all sorts of hard-to-untangle knots all day. I believed it was due to my interview/training today, but the aches were too angry to be caused by just that.

Andrea pointed out that it’s probably just build up from a whole week of striving and confusion and panic and uncertainty. Like when you leave a pile of necklaces in your jewelry box for months and then open it one day to find 12 unfathomable knots through the chains.

But I don’t really know how to undo mine in one careful session. I just hope the kinks will work themselves out.

In other news, my “lite duty” staple gun arrived in the mail today! I felt victorious when I saw it on the doorstep. Even though I could have been sewing pillow cases or mod podging photos onto canvas this whole week, I decided that the fabric stretching would be my first project. Now that I’m all set, however, I’m second guessing myself. Even simple crafts make me nervous, it seems.

Daniel and I met up with one of our acquaintances (who we know through several people but haven’t ever hung out with) for dinner. He’s a really nice guy! It’s good to know we’re not completely isolated from friendly faces.

surprise bluegrass

Yesterday we antique window-shopped then headed to The Corner by campus for a bite to eat at Bodo’s and some used bookstore perusing. In the evening, we decided to check out the local Target. We were quite pleasantly surprised to find, upon our arrival, that a bluegrass band was performing in the parking lot!

I literally shed tears of joy.

When I thought about what Charlottesville would be like, I hoped for mountain views and bluegrass music. From the Target parking lot alone, we could experience both at once. Man, this place is like Leah and Daniel Wise Heaven.

uva

Today we went over to UVA so that Daniel could turn in some paperwork and get his student ID. I enjoyed the view immensely (besides all the insane construction – the middle of the grounds looks post-apocalyptic). The building where his department is housed is in a beautiful, modern style. After we completed his student duties, we journeyed to the downtown mall to visit Daedalus Books, a used bookstore with three stories and over 100,000 used books. We also poked around a stored called Artifacts, where we got to pet an adorable Pomeranian.

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exploring

Today, after a successful meeting with possible employers at a local shop, Daniel and I headed out for an afternoon of exploring Charlottesville.

Our first stop was Bodo’s Bagels, a local favorite, where Daniel had the lox and I had tuna salad on a garlic bagel. It was delicious and both of our meals combined were $10.00.

A woman from the shop this morning recommended an antique store called Circa, which turned out to be full of gems. Despite the fact that they had hundreds of items, it was well curated (and well priced). We bought a nice vinyl arm chair and then headed out to explore the surrounding shops (reluctantly – if we could have, we would have bought the place out).

We happened upon a shop called Carpe Donut and bought a donut and an iced cider to share. Since the donut she gave us was small, she voluntarily gave us a second one for free! People are so nice around here!

After having a wonderful chat with the owner of the local Wild Birds Unlimited, we went to The Bookroom, a local used bookstore, to check out their stock. By the time we got home, our armchair was being delivered by two deceptively strong women from the antique shop.

I’m so thankful that my mom helped me get the duplex in shape yesterday so that I can feel a bit more at ease in my new home. Knowing I can come home to artwork on the walls, food in the fridge, and clothes properly placed in the closet helps me get motivated to explore. Charlottesville is pretty great so far.

away

They say that moving can be just as traumatic as a death in the family.

The 12 hour drive was the longest one I’ve made as the sole driver of my vehicle. Five people and three mice stayed in one hotel room the night before we got here. And then the unpacking began. At one point, 8 people in total were helping unload the Uhaul. I am grateful for the help, but it can be very overwhelming to enter a new stage in your life suddenly and to have nowhere to flee for a moment of screaming or weeping or thinking. And to be hundreds of miles away from your female best friend. And to be married to someone who’s busy enjoying the moment when all you can do is see the desolation you’ve caused by moving in the first place.

To be fair to my new home city, Charlottesville is wonderful. There are a lot of thriving local businesses and cool things to do. Rich American history surrounds us, as do the Blue Ridge Mountains. The thrift stores are nice, there are a wide variety of retail stores not available in Tallahassee, and they even have a restaurant dedicated to soup (I love soup).

But it’s hard to pick up and move. And I think it needs to be shared, honestly and without forced happiness. I’m sure I’ll have some happy, hopeful posts, but for now, I need to be honest with myself about my reality, get through the grief, heal, and move forward.

getting there

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We’re only 5 or so boxes and a pantry sorting party away from being completely packed. It still feels overwhelming in here – stacks of boxes consume our small living room and every time I try to walk somewhere I inevitably snag my foot or leg against a box or a Goodwill donation. We’re donating three more bags of miscellaneous items, 3 book shelves, and an old TV to Goodwill on Monday. It feels really good to know that we have managed to get rid of all that plus at least 5 bags of trash and 4 bags I donated a few weeks ago. I feel like such a hoarder. Why have I held onto every piece of paper I’ve acquired since high school? I even found my career placement handbook from the 8th grade.

Every time I move, I promise myself that I’ll sort and organize better the next time around. But this time I’m being honest with myself; I will still inadvertently hoard small items. Hopefully I’ll manage to develop a clearer organization system.

I’m very excited to get to unpacking and decorating at the new place. I just need a few book cases, a long table or desk, some curtain rods, paint, and a lot of RIT dye to get my projects started.

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